Dear Mom

      Dress, Old Navy clearance, 6. Sandals, Miss Trish for Target, 25 (birthday $$$) Bag, 2, garage sale. (I LOVE that this bag has black in it-I buy lots of black and gray and I know it will all go together.) Antique gold bracelets, 33 in Chicago, the other is a family heirloom. And let's not forget my ever-present accessory- my coffee! Fire King mug, vintage, .25 at a garage sale.

                                          Grand total, 41.25 out of my pocket!

     And now, Dear Moms, a little note to you.

You are the linchpin of the family. Especially if you stay at home and do most of the grunt work yourself!

You have value. You are worth department store lipstick. You do not deserve only clearance from CVS, although if you find something that you love and it's on clearance at CVS, go for it!

You are also allowed to wear the lipstick around the house, the park or the grocery. It's cheaper than booze or chocolate in the long run, and it's pretty effective as a mood booster.

You are not obligated to wear your husbands stained t shirts as pj's (guilty, doing it right now!!), your teen's hand-me-down stretch boot cut jeans that shrunk and she doesn't want, even if they are "perfectly good" and only a few inches too short for you. Also, please give yourself a pass on the tops that are stained with breast milk, Popsicles, smashed up fruit, grease, paint or spaghetti sauce. (Also guilty, especially because it seems to always happen to new ones!)

If you feel like since you stay at home, you don't need to buy new clothes, make up, or other "luxuries"? Well, not only DO you need to, if you can't remember the last time you bought something that made you feel pretty amazing-run and do it. Now! Okay, tomorrow, whatever. But don't put it off! You are that important!

I learned these lessons from my own mom. Because these are things some one should have said to her 30 years ago, but she had to wait for me to grow up and say them to her myself.

Because my mom was depressed and had no self esteem or sense of self worth. Because she "didn't work" and didn't "need" to look nice, she didn't look nice. She looked like she felt-frazzled, worn down, sagging face and body. This is true-she did not get her hair cut for ten TEN years because she felt guilty spending the money. And if you recall Princess Leia? She had the same hair style.

What some one should have said to my mom was "Go out and get a bra that fits and boosts. Your boobs are huge-own it. And it does not have to be white cotton."

"Take care of the person you want to be. Not the basic feeding care. The, 'I really care for this person God has made me and I am nurturing this person' care."

"Depression does not mean you're not praying hard enough or not praying the right prayer. Go to the doctor!"

"Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. You will feel better if you feel good about your own self. God will fill you up to pour you out, but you have to do more that pray the words. Get up and start exercising, eating right and making an effort. He gives you a tool box, not a magic wand, Dear."

What no one said: "You are valuable as a person. God created you and loves you as you are, but too much to leave you that way. Stop wallowing and start living!"

And that is why I urge you, moms, with much conviction: If you are wearing mom jeans and no make up, invest some time in figuring out what you like and what looks good on you. If you like jeans, get some amazing ones and wear them to death. If you like a bare face, take care of your skin. And make it a daily ritual to get ready for your day with a few minutes to invest in your own self. Your family will thank you.

Oh and if you think you LIKE mom jeans and splotchy skin? I think you need to spend some  serious time with yourself, ASAP. You are just as valuable as everyone else in the family!

*I am not saying go spend tons of money or time you don't have. Live within your means and resources. But know that you are worth a splurge here and there and a few minutes to your self, even if you only like to wear moisturizer and tee shirts!